How to stay sane as a non-muggle during the holiday season
I wrote this blog post in the most light hearted way because not all of us are meant to be “awake” or aware of non-muggle things just yet. When I use the word muggle, I am playing with the meaning of the word from the Harry Potter series for “someone without magic”.
But in our context, meaning a person that doesn’t believe or understand energy, their own intuition, or Spirit.
Maybe they scoff at your crystal collection, they don’t understand the power of meditation or they think you are certifiably insane if you believe in spirits or other powers.
The use of the word muggle here isn’t to create division between the spiritually “awake” and those that are not, this is just a loving name I have for those that look at me like What the fuck?! when I explain what I do and then proceed to unfriend me or block me or for fucks sake tell me that they will pray for me.
Those moments just make me laugh now!
Those types of people. I love those people, I admire them because at one point in time we were them. But as you become more self aware and as you step into your power, there are going to be those that stay where they are as you learn and move forward. And then they might look at you like you’re the problem when actually you are so fucking happier than you’ve ever been before.
There’s this telling moment in time where you somehow become suddenly aware of how much you have changed and wonder how you even did. That’s ok. But then when the family gatherings like we sometimes have during the holidays come around we are once again reminded that we may live life just a bit differently. We may celebrate differently, we may have new people in our lives, we may just want to switch things up. For those of you that can relate to that, I have a few tools for you that come in handy this holiday season. Some of these helpful tips can be used by muggles too.
I’ll be honest and say this post now kind of has me feeling a little spicy because there is nothing I believe more than BEING YOURSELF and not squishing yourself in a box to make others happy.
So first let me tell you that you are so amazing and I’m glad you’re being yourself. Let’s keep that up!
A lot of people’s goals for the holidays is to just get through it or do it with minimal drama. My goal is to be my most comfortable self and BE my most comfortable self while enjoying my loved ones.
For example, I wear whatever I want to my holiday celebrations. If a family member thinks yoga pants or leggings are inappropriate for family dinner but you know you’re uncomfy wearing dress pants or fancy dress, don’t. Wear your comfy leggings. Got a fav pair of those wide legged hippie yoga pants that you love? Then wear them! If you WANT to dress up and show off your holiday spirit then I fully support you.
The idea is to make these events that can be higher in stress waaayyy less stressful and when you are pinching and pulling at your clothing because it’s not YOU, then this can just simply add to the stress you are trying to avoid. Dress how you want.
I do understand that sometimes dressing how others want can reduce stress because it’s a fight you can avoid. I get it, pick your battles. But I will ask you… is it in your highest good?
What if your family is religious but you aren’t? Maybe you aren’t religious anymore but your family is and they still pray before a meal? Or maybe you are religious but your beliefs differ a bit which means your practice differs a bit. I suggest you do things your way. Pray your way or don’t pray, be respectful and silent while others do their thing. If someone comments on you not joining in or asks what you are doing I suggest coming up with a response beforehand that can explain respectfully but in the simplest of ways why you are doing things your way.
Maybe it’s something like I do things differently now but please do your own thing. Or maybe it’s something like My beliefs have changed and I’m more comfortable sitting in silence or maybe just simply That’s a conversation for another time and you can leave it at that. Please don’t let others pressure you into practicing beliefs that don’t fit and resonate with who you are now.
If you are dreading the conversations with family members that come up about the direction you are going in life and you know they have their opinions about it, it’d be wise to prepare an answer to use in place to set a boundary. If Auntie Carrot asks you what you are up to and you think telling her you’ve been learning tantric meditation to access your inner Shakti would be too much.. have a response ready. If Uncle Meatloaf makes a backhanded comment about the new spiritual endeavor you are doing that he doesn’t believe in. It's great to have something prepared. Or simply just ignore and walk away to talk to someone else. That works too!
Remember that you are not even obligated to go to any holiday events if you don’t want to. If it feels better to stay at home and do your own thing then know that it is totally ok. And if you feel pulled between going and staying home, feel free to ask your guides, pull some oracle cards, or meditate on the decision. Instead of trying to squeeze three events into one day and also worry about the dogs getting let out and fed at home, just make it EASIER for yourself and choose what is best for you.
If you plan on going to any holiday events you might feel better if you prepare beforehand by clearing your energy, setting intentions for the event, and calling in your guardians and guides to support you before, during, and after the events. Having clear energy can help you navigate all of the other energies that people are bringing to the table. You shouldn’t have to leave feeling heavier because you are bringing their shit home. Prepare your energy.
Plan some wind down time. Block out some time in your schedule to take a bath, read, celebrate with your pets, watch that cute holiday movie, decorate, get holiday leftovers ready for the days ahead, bake cookies, or just do anything that you have wanted to do but haven’t been able to because of other responsibilities. Sometimes we think of holiday events as places to relax but sometimes they just aren’t. Sometimes they feel like work mixed with fun. Make sure you are keeping stock of your energy levels and relax when you need to.
Create a new holiday tradition with yourself or another loved one. Maybe instead doing a not very liked event with family during the holidays you do something else you DO enjoy. Or instead of getting wasted playing drinking games this year cause last year’s hangover sucked, you choose another thing. Maybe you offer to take a family winter hike instead or you agree to drive to check out the neighborhood's holiday lights.
Listen to uplifting music or a podcast to relax on the way to events that may stress you out. It’s a great way to get your vibe up and feeling clear headed and fresh with confidence!
Take your own car or plan your own transport instead of agreeing to carpool with people that you know will be stressed and late getting out the door. Plan your travels ahead to maximize relaxation and minimize stress.
Prepare your pets for any chaos that may ensue. Most of the time in the craziness we don’t prepare or explain to our pets what they should expect or what will happen.
If you are hosting, tell your pets how many people are coming over, who they are, if there are other pets coming, if they will eat at a different time than normal, if they have a space they can retreat to while there is commotion, or what you expect of them during the event.
If you are leaving your pets at home or with a sitter or at a boarding facility, give them as much info as you can about when you will be back, where you are going, why, what they will be doing, who will be watching them, and any more information you can think of. More details = more relaxed animals because they feel more prepared.
Practice gratitude, clear communication, forgiveness, and tolerance.
Most of us don’t care to explain to our family members why we are the way we are. There’s no need to start during the holiday season. Be prepared by setting the intention to forgive the things that you can’t change or control. Plan to do your best to communicate clearly about plans, details, etc. and try to avoid any arguments about miscommunication with family or others. Let it snow, let it go! Practice gratitude by being aware of the amazing way things have changed for you and the spectacular quality of the life you live now. Understand you can’t control anybody's opinion of you and detach from the beliefs that their opinions should hold value for you.
Play the game.
Something I do each year without shame is doing a lot of observing so that I have so many juicy things to play in the Game. The Game is where you and your partner or your sibling or your parent agree to observe and remember the most odd, illogical, mundane, stupid, or outrageous things that anyone at the family gathering says and later compare them. It is a great way to let loose of all the wild frustration about what may be said or done during any events. Bonus points if you make a secret signal and use it during the event to get the attention of the other game players. Use the signal to let them know when you are hearing something you’ll report on later. It’s not for hating on others, keep it light and funny!
Set aside some time to remember those that aren’t around this year to celebrate with you. Maybe write them a letter or look at some old pictures of them as you swap stories. Spending some time remembering those that aren’t around any more can help.
And if you are someone that doesn’t have anyone to celebrate this holiday season, or you just experienced a loss and the holidays will never be the same, be easy on yourself. Only do what you are ready for and what actually fills your cup. My thoughts with you<3
Good luck my friend, I wish nothing but the best winter frolicking for you.